Remember When It Rained #3

I was in such a state of shock I didn’t know what to do. I looked around me and on the sofa to see if Matt had passed out last night, he must’ve taken himself off to bed as the only thing he left behind as his ass print on the cushion and an empty beer can. I then checked his room but he wasn’t there either. I didn’t mind though, he’s always getting in the way when I want to be alone, so I grabbed the letter shut myself in my bedroom and threw myself onto the bed with the letter falling delicately onto the bed in front of me as it flew out of my hand.

I opened it as carefully as I could. I kept on thinking to myself, this couldn’t be it. Could it? After all these years she’s finally found me? I took the letter out of the envelope, and slowly opened it. I was so excited, crying almost. My emotions were running wild within me I didn’t really know what to feel, happy? Sad? Everything kind of flooded in at once. I started to read.

Josh,

I hope this is you. I’ve been trying to find you for years…I’ve missed you.

I know what you’re thinking, could that have really of been me last night? Yes, it was me. I’ve basically hit rock bottom, I’ve lost my job, my friends, my money…my life, and now I’m living in the gutter. Sometimes literally.

When I saw you last night I felt hope. I haven’t stopped thinking about you, I felt terrible for leaving all those years ago but now that my grandmother has ‘gone’ recently, I feel like I’m somehow free. Like there’s no one to pull me back. Although this also means there’s no one to save me.

If this is you Josh, I wondered if we could talk. I will get myself cleaned up and explain everything to you, I just want you to understand. If you do, come to the local park, central park, at around 6pm. You’ll know where it is, it’s hard to miss. I hope to see you there.

Grace x

I was speechless, yet I still managed to get ready in a flash even though the letter said 6pm. Once I’d tugged everything on after falling over a few times as well, I slowly walked to my desk chair, plonked myself down and just looked out the window. The day seemed so calm with not a cloud in site, almost unreal with the events of last night.

A few minutes later the phone broke the silence, which was strange because that’s what Matt usually does. However, it surprised me to hear it was actually the police on the phone!

It was about Matt.

“Is this a Mr Josh I am talking to?” queried the policeman.

“Umm, yes. Is there anything I can help you with officer?” I began to get worried,

“Actually yes…but you better be sitting down. I have some bad news for you”

The policeman and I talked for a while, he told me that Matt had gotten hit by a car while drunk. I got so angry! Angry and sad, I couldn’t believe I thought nothing of it when I came home, guilt filled my body like a virus. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t, but I remembered what Matt always used to say, Crying is a wuss’ reaction to life. So I gladly kept it in.

Could I even go to meet ‘Grace’ tonight? I didn’t know what I was going to do.